02.26.09
I haven’t died.
I’m just writing a 20 page paper.
Believe me, I would prefer to be writing blog posts.
I’ll be back posting soon, hopefully!
02.23.09
Someone patent this. STAT!
My aunt is a nurse practitioner, and she gets all kinds of free samples of medication and stuff like that.
This weekend she said, “I have something for you. I figured you could use it since you are a teacher.”
And she pulled out this:
As a teacher of many with ADHD, my first thought was, “Ritalin in hand gel form! I NEED THIS!!!”
But then I looked closer:
Sadly, it is only antibacterial hand gel with a Ritalin advertisement on it.
If only someone invented Ritalin in squirtable gel form…
When I think about the possibilities, this amazing scene pops into my head…
A kid starts bouncing, so I just squirt this stuff onto their head and rub it in. Magically, their little bottom goes right back into their seat, and they sit up straight, and pay attention. Another one starts to get super chatty, so I whip out my bottle of Ritalin gel, and give them a little squirt. A kid finishes their TAKS test at 9:15 in the morning and has to sit there quietly for the remaining 6 hours of school. So every 30 minutes or so, I come by with my trusty squirt of Ritalin, and all is well!
Clearly, I am delusional.
Someone could get seriously rich if they invented some squirtable Ritalin gel!
So, what are you waiting for???
Oh, and don’t forget you heard of it here first, so you can make all royalties payable to me. Thanks!
composition samples
The standardized writing test is coming up soon for my 4th graders, so we have been practicing and practicing. I can’t read the prompt to them unless they raise their hands and ask. I can’t help them in any way. I can only provide them with a dictionary and pray that what I have taught them is sufficient.
Clearly it has not been.
Today the prompt was “Write about a problem you faced and how you solved it.”
Here are some samples:
“Me and my sister get into a fight and we have to solve it. Me and my cousin get into a fight and we have to solve it. Me and my brother got into a fight and we have to solve it. Me and my friend got into a fight and we have to solve it. Me and my other friends get into a fight and we have to solve it. Me and my girlfriend got into a fight and we have to solve it. Me and my other sister got into a fight and we have to solve it.”
4th graders should not have girlfriends. Seriously, people! They are 9 years old!!
“Writ aboutap problem thayou had to solve evole I you die. Partnership. Parch. Parent. Ptetnoan. Pteatlt”
This child clearly copied the prompt followed by a page in the dictionary to the best of his ability. And for this kid, this is impressive work. When he turns in stuff that looks like real letters, I am so proud!!!
“I am a good princess. Jesus is beautiful and God is beautiful. This is good God God. I am beautiful. It is a good at the stoopy. Camen is fun.”
Not sure what that is supposed to mean…I especially wonder about stoopy and Camen.
“I am going to make something else up. I didn’t know some of the presidents start with James like James Madison his name starts with James like James Monroe with James like James K. Polk his name start with James like James A. Garfield with James like James E. Carter, Jr. with James. My name start with Alex James Carver but I changed my name to Alex Carver James.”
This is what I call mutiny! He declared to the class that he didn’t like this prompt, and was going to “make something else up.” Now, before you get too impressed, there is a chart of the presidents in the back of the dictionaries. Names have been changed to protect the innocent. Don’t send me to special ed jail, please!
A few kids ACTUALLY wrote about the prompt, but those are just not as fun, so they didn’t make the cut for blog fame. Sorry!
———————————————————————-
There is a post coming soon about my weekend of fun…just as soon as I get some pictures via email!
02.17.09
Scripture Memory – 2/15/09
“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.” Matthew 7:21
We are NOT saved by works. We cannot earn salvation by doing good things, living a righteous life, or trying really hard. Because no matter how much we do, how good we are, or how hard we try, we are still sinners. We still miss the mark of perfection that God requires.
We are saved by God’s grace. He did the work that we are UNABLE to do. Jesus lived a sinless life. So, when God reveals Himself to us, and we pray for God to save us (to look on Jesus’ sinless life in place of our sinful lives), THEN and only then are we saved.
AFTER salvation, God changes us. The RESULT of salvation is doing good works and living a righteous life. It doesn’t happen immediately, but when God saves us, He promises to sanctify us. It is a process, and a promise.
If you are saved, there WILL be works that result. So if someone is claiming to be a follower of Jesus, but has no evidence of a changed life…we can only conclude that he is not saved.
Faith without works is dead.
If you acknowledge God as your Father, but you are not doing His will…you will not enter the kingdom of heaven.
Sometimes this is a hard truth to swallow.
Are you a wolf in sheep’s clothing, or truly one of His flock?
Follow Him, and He will change you!
02.16.09
split pea soup
A while back I bought a bag of split peas. I have NO idea why; it was an impulse buy. (Who buys split peas on an impulse? Weird.) I have been staring at them in my pantry ever since, wondering what in the world I was thinking. Saturday, I finally put them to use!
I found a recipe online for split pea soup, and I already had all the ingredients at home, which is a miracle, considering I have not been grocery shopping in a month!
It is delicious, healthy, cheap, easy, needs only 6 ingredients, and you only have to measure 1 thing! Does cooking get any better than that???
A recipe like this must be shared!
Split Pea Soup
- 1 lb bag of split peas – soak over night (or for 4 hours in the AM like I did)
- 2 quarts of water (I just taught this to my kids…1 quart=4 cups)
- 1 lb kielbasa (Polish sausage – my favorite!) in 1/8 inch slices or bacon (but trust me, kielbasa is the mack daddy of meat)
- a sprinkle of garlic powder
- salt and pepper to taste
Put everything in a crock pot for 3-5 hours on high – my crock pot was exactly 4 hours. Stir occasionally. It’s good with a dollop of sour cream on top.
YUM!
02.14.09
daily bread?
Psalm 119:103 says, “How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth.”
My cat is very spiritual. He really agrees with the aforementioned verse. But I think he carried the metaphor a bit too far when he ATE six pages of my Bible while I was at work one day. I did my best to reconstruct the pages from the shreds I found around my room, but a significant portion of Psalms 53-64 are missing. Eaten.
So, I need your help!
Do you have the teeny-tiny Compact Thinline Edition of the ESV Bible published by Crossway Bibles? It looks like this or this:
Because I would love copies of pages 475-480 so that I, too, can partake of these life-giving words! Strictly in the metaphorical sense, of course. I will read it. Not eat it. Dumb cat…good thing he’s so cute.
Thanks!
02.13.09
I am loved.
For Valentine’s Day I asked my students to make a list of 10 things they love.
It was exciting to see my name at #9 on this kid’s list:
I also made it to #7 on another list:
Another had me down as #5:
I made it to #4 on the list of the kid who threw down a desk on Wednesday:
This one threw the other desk and the chair… #4 again:
Another had me down as #3…
And finally…#1!
I may not have a valentine, but tomorrow it will be easy to remember that I am loved!
02.11.09
special ed math
1 kid who forgot to take his meds
+ 2 desks thrown to the floor
+ 1 chair thrown across the room
+ 1 aspiring teacher observing
= time for an Audrey movie and a nap!
02.09.09
perfection.
I try to make spelling as fun and exciting as possible because, let’s face it, spelling can be boring. Today I had each kid write the word on the board, and then illustrate it.
The first word on the list is “perfect”, which is difficult to illustrate. But the kid who was assigned that word got to work immediately. He was drawing a picture of a woman.
Thinking that he had read the word incorrectly, I said, “Your word is ‘perfect’.”
He said, “I know.”
I said, “But what is this picture?”
He replied, “It’s you!”
Awwwwwwwwwww…
Sometimes my kids can act like little turkeys, but sometimes they just melt my heart!
02.08.09
Happy Birthday, Marylyn!
Today is Marylyn’s birthday!
I love how well Marylyn and I know one another.
She is the only person to whom I could say, “I want some coffee” and she would bring it back exactly how I like it. (Bold blend with a little bit of cream and sugar.)
She is the only person to whom I could say, “I want some tea,” and she would bring me some exactly how I like it. (Black tea with honey or chai tea with a little bit of milk and sugar.)
She is the only person to whom I could say, “I want some ice cream,” and she would bring me some exactly how I like it. (Coffee flavored with something chocolate in it.)
All three scenarios have indeed happened, and each time I was reminded that this girl knows me deeply. I was also reminded of our shared love of hot caffeinated beverages.
(When we took these photos we were trying to act proper, which was clearly impossible.)
Happy Birthday, Marylyn!!!
